See all these people to the left here? I hate every single one of them.Why? Let me tell you why: Because they are just standing there, in the middle of the sidewalk, in the rain.
Out here in New York the sidewalks are like everyone else's roads. We use them to commute to work, get groceries, go to the movies, etc.
So if anyone of you ever finds yourself walking along a New York street and suddenly have the urge to make a sharp left, bend over to tie your shoe, or stop and look up at the tall building, don't. Instead, stop and think about what would happen if you followed that same urge while driving down I-75 at that exact moment... an 18-car pile up isn't much worse than being cussed out in four different languages at the same time by the people behind you.
And do you know what makes everything worse? Water falling from the sky.
Look at these ever-so-prepared tourists in the picture up there again. The ponchos. The umbrellas. God I hate them. They are practically invincible and they know it. Because of that, when it is raining and 38 degrees tomorrow and I am sprinting home from work, they will be standing there with a 7'x9' map unfolded in the middle of 5th Ave. while their little turd of a kid is playing red rover with another little turd of a kid.
And as I try to run past them, both little turds will manage to cross into my path at the exact same moment I am jump over a puddle. I will not see either and knock them both senseless into the cement face first.
Then, as I am trying to explain what happed to their four parents in the picture who were to perplexed by a stupid ass subway map they couldn't watch their shitbag kids three seconds ago, I will get approached by a cop who tells me to "just chill the hell out man, and try to be more considerate of other people" without even hearing what I have to say... and I always wondered why New Yorkers have the reputation of being rude.
