Yoga vs. Elliptical

Take a look at both of the above images really quick.

Now, we all know in the U.S. of A. there is a degree of femininity prescribed to these two types of physical activity. Thus, I have caught shit from anyone and everyone - family members, co-workers, friends - after going to a yoga class the past two Mondays, the first for free thanks to my neighbor Sarah.

In any event, my roommate Craig Bromberg in particular has taken issue with my participation in these classes, offering such astute, sophisticated critiques as: "You are such a homo."

To which I generally reply with something along the lines of: "Craig, you go to the gym three times a week to spend 30 minutes on the elliptical, and you are calling me a woman?"

Needless to say, I refuse to believe that I am more of a tool for doing yoga than Craig is for riding the elliptical machine, especially since the elliptical is the extent of Craig's physical activity and my yoga is merely complimentary to my weekly running and lifting routine. So, in my opinion, he is the pot which is calling the kettle black.

However, since we could not come to an agreement on our own as to which activity was "gayer" than the other, each of us consulted outside, impartial council Monday night.

Before revealing the results I want to make two things perfectly clear: 1- after having experienced yoga, I can vouch that it is not for the feint of heart, and the elliptical pales in comparison when it comes to level of difficulty. 2- I could give two shits if somebody thinks participating in a yoga class means you swing one way or the other, to me it is irrelevant. I just want to win this argument.

INDEPENDENT COUNCIL

I sought out the opinion of fellow 2004 Miami graduate, Erin Lenger, who happened to be online at the time, and was much more objective than Craig in her reasoning.

aj0232 (Me): what is more feminine... me doing yoga, or my roommate only doing the elliptical - prototypical female workout - when he goes to the gym?
mmlenger (Erin): hmm
mmlenger: that's a tough one
mmlenger: i think that you doing yoga could be seen as more "confident"
mmlenger: i generally have always viewed elliptical machines as female
aj0232: oh god you made my day
mmlenger: however - that was based on my experiences at Miami's rec center
mmlenger: at my gym here - in St. Louis - all guys do ellipticals

Damn... but she was not finished.

mmlenger: ok
mmlenger: put it this way
mmlenger: if i see a guy on an elliptical (based on my experiences at gyms)
mmlenger: i do not at this point assume he is gay
mmlenger: if he is on an elliptical reading people magazine
mmlenger: he's gay
mmlenger: if a guy says he's going to yoga, i don't think he's gay
mmlenter: if he's wearing spandex, he's gay

Fascinating logic. Continue...

mmlenger: anyways
mmlenger: you're not gay because you do yoga
aj0232: well thank you so much for letting me know I am not gay Erin... i was totally unaware of that
mmlenger: hahaha
mmlenger: and don't get attitude
mmlenger: you're the one who brought all of this up
aj0232: yeah, and you were supposed to be on my side here
mmlenger: i think both sides are equal here

Damn. Damn. A stalemate.

Moving on. Craig chose to consult his kid brother Scotty, aka Buddy.

Scotty's point of view was fairly cut and dry, and just as unhelpful.

Drum32882 (Craig): What's more masculine... going to yoga class or exercising on an elliptical?
scottyb73186 (Buddy): Hmmmm... i would say the elliptical, but both are really gay.

Sonofa... oh well, whatever.